Archive for August, 2008
Remove Your Handcuffs Before Giving Interviews!
Monday, August 25th, 2008 | Sex Club News, Sex Toys | No Comments
Remove Your Handcuffs
If you are going to give an interview ensure you take your kinky wear and put it into a draw unless you want everyone to know your love to be restrained!!!! Well done love!
Blow Job Jumping Blonde!
Monday, August 25th, 2008 | Jokes | No Comments
A bloke goes out for a walk and sees a fit blonde on the cliff edge.
“Are you going to jump?”
“yeah” replies the blonde
“Before you jump would you give me a blow job?
“OK” and the blonde gives him the best blow job he has ever had.
“I Can’t believe with talent like that you would want to kill yourself!”
“I know but my parents just can’t accept me dressing like a girl”
OLD people have problems that you haven’t even considered yet!
Monday, August 25th, 2008 | Jokes | No Comments
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, ‘Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.’
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, ‘Well, doc, it’s like this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, Then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first With both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing. The doctor was shocked! ‘You asked your neighbour?’
The old man replied: ‘Yep, none of us could get the jar open.’
Apple iPhone Adds 3 Speed Vibrator
Monday, August 25th, 2008 | Sex Club News, Sex Toys | No Comments
In an effort to increase sales among its female customers, Apple Inc. has introduced the new Apple iPhone Classic Touch Vibrator (CTV). In addition to all the usual iPhone features, the CTV also comes in 3 vibrating speeds for female enjoyment.
Previous versions of the iPhone would only vibrate when users had a call coming in. The new version can be set to vibrate continuously in different speeds depending on the clitoral sensitivity of the woman using the item.
“This thing practically wore me out”, said iPhone CTV Beta Tester Marie Ping. “I can call my boyfriend, listen to music, send emails and get off at the same time without fumbling with a bunch of different things! It’s amazing!”
iPhone spokesperson Cheri Pepper claims the item should help alleviate sexual frustration for “on the go” businesswomen who have to take extended trips away from their husbands, college students who have trouble finding “special time” and anyone in need of a quick yet fulfilling orgasm.
“Sex toys are a booming industry”, Pepper stated. “Many women are afraid to purchase sex toys for fear someone will find it in her purse. However, no one questions having an iPod or an iPhone.”
The sex toy industry generated over $3 billion in sales last year. iPhone sales should add another $500 million to the industry in its first year alone.
“I hope someday every woman will have an iPhone vibrating sex phone”, said Apple CEO Steve Jobs.
Apple Inc. stock rose up 30% at the announcement.
Read the full story here
http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i39065